


Whereas the Body

by Teanna



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-10-23
Updated: 2002-10-23
Packaged: 2017-10-02 21:37:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teanna/pseuds/Teanna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She had a body.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whereas the Body

**Author's Note:**

> For Leea and Kyra Cullinan

_i I have a body. _

And was there one place on my body where your lips never did touch? No. And yes. yes.

I hear you killed a boy for me today, Willow.

And it falls flat, because how little do you know me, if you think I would care for this kind of revenge? Oh, for this.

_ii I have a body, I had a body. _

My father used to lock me in the darkest closet for hours on end. And I would learn to measure calm by the space of heartbeats. Now. Now. Now. Beat on beat on beat on beat beat beat... And for every thousand, a secret would be revealed to me. The secret of me, Tara. Tara this girl me.

_iii The body alive. _

The first time I kissed a girl I tried to count her heartbeats too. But her heart beat so fast, and mine so slow, as if my life's blood was running out... Or was that just the other day? When I died? Could you tell me, Willow? Please. I should know.

_iv I had a body. _

Did I ever tell you (no, I did not I forget) that I don't like the idea of being buried deep down in the ground? Oh well, if wishes... If we could wish, then I wish for my life back, Willow.

Could you do that? Can you give me back my life?

Does it hurt you, saying "No"?

It hurts me, Willow.

_v I had a body, I have a body. _

I'm sorry I never -   
The days pass by here so fast, I was dead last night and the one before and the one before that I was dead. And I hurt you, then (which is now) and when I remember, it was long ago. I need my sleep, I need to sleep.

Willow. Put me to sleep.

_vi There was a body. I was a body. _

I once kissed a girl with hair like fire. Willoween. My Willoween-girl. We danced. I think I may have died from dancing. No, no, it was the kiss. Wasn't it, Willow - vain? Was it not that you kissed me and.

Misremember.

Did they cut me into four parts, spread my body all over England? No. Or... No.

_vii I had fingers and toes. A body? _

Girl with hair-of-flame, can you hear me? Do we talk, did we ever? I wish you'd let me go. I wish... I don't remember what. I remember being a child and counting on my toes. one two three six nine ten-five ten-six a hundred dancing ladies...

I did not wish for this.

_viii What is a body? _

And yet, they say you keep me here for your own amusement. I do not understand. I do not remember you, child, only your hair and eyes (the eyes I remember) and I wish you'd let me go.

If we ever - it must have been hundreds of years ago. Too long. I don't remember - me.

_ix Was there ever a me? _

Am I your ghost, red-child? Am I your ghost?


End file.
